It seems like only yesterday that I was deferring my university offer to start this year with the Transform team. I remember feeling uneasy while making that step. All sorts of questions were flying round in my head; is this really what God wants for me? What if I don’t like it? Will I really grow and transform through this year? Well almost three months in, I am no longer fretting over those doubts and worries.
‘Is this really what God wants for me?’
Quite bluntly, yes! Of course it was. He was always there, gently pushing me in the direction He wanted me to go. It was just about making that step of faith. It was new, different, but all in God’s hands.
‘What if I don’t like it?’
I absolutely love it! Everything about it. I’ve been given this beautiful opportunity to do so many things: from singing kids’ songs at the front of church to chatting to people at Friendship Centre. From speaking at the Tuesday Afternoon Service to working the PowerPoint for the speaker at Alpha; from cutting out leaflets to leading a dance option at The Hub! I’ve gotten to know new faces, and lots of familiar faces on the staff team. All of this is such a blessing from God, and it’s only just started!
‘Will I really grow and transform through this year?’
Let me share a verse with you that God placed on my heart for this year right at the start. “Remain in me and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me”- John 15:4.
Through my time so far on Transform, I have become so much closer to God. I’ve come to realise how much I am in need of Him. To guide me, to strengthen me, to bring me happiness, and, like the verse says, to produce fruit that only comes from Jesus. In training, someone gave us an illustration of this, which I found really helpful.
At some point I’m sure you’ve blown through a straw into water to make it form bubbles. If you have then you’ll know that you eventually start to run out of breath and the bubbles become less until they finally stop altogether. However, if you had a flame making that water boil, the bubbles would naturally flow…without stopping. Jesus is that flame. He is the one that keeps on supporting us. If we try in our own effort to create those bubbles of life, yes it will work for a while, but eventually we will run out of breath. We will grow tired, weary, less motivated. Then we’ll just come to a halt altogether.
You can keep trying to blow that life in your own efforts, but after a time that will start to take quite a toll on you. You’ll keep searching for that breath, and find that it becomes harder and harder to produce. We need Him – our everlasting light that will keep us going. That fire of life that we can only get from being in an intimate relationship with our high King! He will never fail you. He doesn’t run out of breath, He doesn’t give up on us and He is ALWAYS there. There are going to be a lot of things this year that are going to be testing and challenging. If I remain in Him, then I will be prepared for them; the big things and the small things.
Growing Every Day…
So in answer to the question I had for myself…yes! I will grow this year. I know there are so many more things God wants to reveal to me throughout this year, and for the rest of my days on God’s path for my life if I keep myself deeply rooted in his truth, life and beauty.
And hey, I still make mistakes! I definitely haven’t got it all sorted out. I sometimes find my comfort in other things instead of God, I sometimes make quick judgements about people, and I sometimes let my own insecurities run my life instead of trusting in God’s truths.
That is why this relationship is on-going. I constantly have to grow and learn and repent. Choosing each morning to surrender everything I am to Him, because I know that who I am comes from Him.